Running Against Doctor's Orders: Wall St Run Recap

A couple weeks ago, I "ran" in the American Heat Association Wall Street Run in NYC. It was an even my husband had participated in a few times over the years, and he really wanted me to be a part of it this year. Because it was for the American Heart Association, I went despite doctor's orders (and common sense) not to do much running.

Post-Race & Post-Race-Beer

Quiet subway for the ride home

The original plan was to start couch to 5k WEEKS before and train up until this event. It was a 3 mile course (just short of a 5k) so it was doable. Even if I walked part of it, the length seemed like a reasonable distance. I had been walking that at the park pushing a 20 lb baby in a stroller - surely I could walk it at the very least.

Of course, that original plan did not come to fruition. I did not train. I was benched due to my knee issues. I was sentenced to walking and low impact exercise. But I really wanted to participate. So my hubs signed us up as walkers (basically we didn't get timed) and we figured at the very worst I'd walk the whole thing while he ran and we'd meet at the end.

Mr. Drama works in the neighborhood of the Wall St run, so we made arrangements for Baby Drama to get a ride home from daycare from Grandma so I could train it in to meet him for the run/walk. In my old life (pre-baby) I would into NYC on the regular. Typically, I'd be going to a meeting or photo shoot or something client-related, so I'd get a little more dolled up than usual. Pulling on yoga pants and a sports bra felt SO strange and uncomfortable for going INTO the city. There's a certain amount of discomfort you're supposed to have while walking the streets of NYC. It's part of the "out of your comfort zone" scheme that goes with the city experience. New York always pushes you just a little further than you want it too...and that's what makes it so amazing. You realize potential you didn't even know was there.

And that's what happened to me during this run. I didn't have any intention of running until I got to the starting area.  It was a super crazy hot and humid day. Really sticky and gross. One of those days where it's so humid that the air actually feels thick. In the NYC, that feeling can be suffocating. The standard gross city smells are intensified. As you walk (or run) you get hit in the face with pockets of stink. But once we started queuing up in the starting area, the excitement started to build and my confidence magically grew. I started to get that "anything is possible" feeling. So once we crossed the starting line, hubs and I started jogging with the crowd. Not too fast though. He warned me that it was easy to get swept up in the excitement and start off way too fast.

I think I made it about 1/2 mile before I had to walk. It sounds lame, but it was probably the longest distance I've run in a long time straight through. I hadn't run at all in probably 3 weeks. I haven't even done any serious work outs besides my park walks with Baby Drama.

Thankfully, my hubs had decided he'd stick with me the whole time. Walking or not. The only stipulation was that we could walk, but not STOP. I was completely on board with that.

Photo from NYRR.org (this photo-crazy blogger forgot her phone)

The course was very cool. It wound through the financial district, in the windy very old street part. The part that feels "old New York." Where you still get glimpses of the days before taxis clogged the main roads and men went to work at roll-top desks and wore stove pipe hats. The time after Gangs of New York yet before Mad Men. I loved being able to travel down the middle of those old streets and be able to look up and enjoy the old architecture sandwiched in with new buildings. This run/walk gave us the precious opportunity to take it all in without worrying about getting hit by a car or running into oncoming pedestrians.

Throughout the run/walk, we did just that. Ran a little, walked a little. I think all-in-all we probably ran over a third of the 3 mile course. After mile 2, I had to listen to my body and not push my knees too much further. So we had a strong start, walked much of the middle, with little bursts of running when it felt appropriate. I actually was watching a woman who was just ahead of us when we started walking. She was running, but slowly. She had a consistent pace, and didn't falter. It became my mission to keep her in my sights. Somehow, I made her my competition. She was shorter and heavier than me. I kept thinking "if she can run this, I can too." Unfortunately that sentiment wasn't exactly true due to my injury. We'd pass her when running, then she'd catch up to us as we walked.

At first I saw her as competition. Then I saw her as an inspiration. It became clear that I didn't want to beat her, but wanted to be her. I wanted her stamina, dedication, and commitment.

I lost sight of her once we paused for water. But it was OK. I had my mini revelation and we were nearing the finish line. As we got to the busier streets near the water, there were people guiding us so we wouldn't accidentally run into oncoming traffic. Some of them just stood there, some of them clapped and half-heartedly cheered us on. I appreciated the effort (even if a couple of them looked like typical NYC skinny girls who never actually worked out a day in their life).

The final stretch was amazing. It went along the water, giving us a nice view of the Statue of Liberty right before we turned for the last leg. The sun was setting and a crowd was gathering. The race workers were getting more enthusiastic and supportive. One guy was telling us "it's only about 30 meters to the finish." I said to my hubs "we could run that, right?" and we started pushing it. The route guy heard me and gave us a big cheer. Without him, I'm not sure I would've run that last distance (for the record, it was way more than 30 meters).

We pushed, running past people walking and jogging slower than us (if that was even possible...maybe they were running backwards). It was a huge rush. At the finish line, there was a small crowd of volunteers cheering us as we finished. Music was playing, a beautiful cold mist of water greeted us as we crossed the end.

Emotion finally came spilling out once that last burst of running was over. It was a great feeling to have finished it and TRIED really hard. Once again, NYC had pushed me past my perceived limits and made me stronger. I couldn't help but think of my Dad due to the American Heart Association stuff. I miss him, and I don't want the same fate. It was a sad and strong reminder of WHY I'm pushing myself like this.

The run/walk finished right at the World Financial Center plaza. We were meeting up with some of my Hub's coworkers at a bar near his office. We walked through some buildings overlooking the 9/11 memorial and construction site. More emotion. More reminders of why we need to better ourselves: for our family, for ourselves, for the ability to be ready for anything...

So ready for air conditioning

dressed down at the Fulton St station

 

Benched

I've been avoiding accountability. There. I said it.

That's why it's been quiet 'round here.

I've been benched for knee and back issues. Both things have been recurring issues for me for years. My knees have been an issue since middle school sports. My back has been a bother since a minor car accident when I first started working (like 10 years ago now...ugh).

But today I got back out there. It's a beautiful day in the Northeast, and the view from my favorite park was perfect. I got a good looong walk in, and the kiddo got lunch on the beach. After the terrible tornado in Oklahoma, I find myself again counting blessings and again taking extra time to appreciate family, health, and comfort.

Walk by the water...remind me again why I've been avoiding THIS?

I've been kind of avoiding blogging because no one wants to read "wah! I fell off the wagon" posts over and over again. But this whole project is supposed to be my accountability zone. Where I have celebrate victories, but also have to answer for my misbehavior.

Rest has been prescribed by my therapist. But he did say I didn't have to stop everything. Just to take it easy. No running. No jumping. Easy on the squats (even though there are some squats in my PT routine).

I can walk. I can do the elliptical. I can bike (if I had a road bike).
Have I done any of this? Nope.
I went from doing something active every single day to twice a week. tops. 

That's because the first few weeks of PT are PAINFUL.My whole body is exhausted after that kind of torture. Every session is a painful knee massage followed by a very targeted light strength training session. I guess I could count it as a workout, but it's not exactly a sweat session.

I did a walk after my first or second session and my knees were screaming.So I backed off a little. Maybe too much.

I started to get a down on myself. That lead to just being down period. Which lead to less exercise again. And even less smart eating. The extent of my smart decisions has been "Have the cupcake for dinner. Less calories than dinner AND a cupcake."

The only thing saving me from a gain is a nice little stomach bug I had over the weekend. I feel like I completed a cleanse. Yuck.

Today I feel more like myself again. After that massive dose of sunshine and baby fun, I'm ready to work WITH the PT restrictions. No more just doing nothing. A little something is always better than nothing.

 

Motivation Monday Link Up

I was all ready to write another "wah wah I suck at life" post today when I spotted this link up from the girls at CeCe Is Me and Daily Dose of Del Signore. These two ladies have amazing stories and super blogs! Lucky for me, I logged on today to find them hosting a Motivation Monday Link Up. They're turning my day around with this idea. Now instead of moping around, I'm going to MAKE the time to do something about it. No more complaining without offering a solution!! EVER.

So I'm supposed to add my best motivating tip, advice, recipe...anything that will help a fellow dieter/healthy lifestyler also get moving on this lovely Monday. Even though I'm feeling less-than credible this AM, I'll play!


My tip is to track your food. It's less about counting, and more about accountability. Yes, being aware of your calories is huge. Yes, thinking about the content of each bite that passes your lips is a big deal. But gaining an awareness of your bad habits is probably the most critical lesson you learn through tracking. It helps you become aware of when you tend to eat poorly, what triggers your binges and what foods push you off the wagon. You also learn from your reaction to tracking.

How? Well, at some point, you're going to get that "I don't want to track this snack/drink/cheating bite" feeling. When you feel that - it means you're cheating yourself.If you don't want to track it, you shouldn't be eating it. Just because you didn't track it doesn't mean it didn't happen. If you ate it, your body still processed it, your system absorbed it, your ass will show it.

Did I Leave My Mojo on That Wagon?

I fell off the wagon this weekend. Not too terribly bad, but there were adult beverages, tacos, and a food truck involved. So, well, maybe it was bad.

The worst part? I feel like I left my mojo on that wagon. And it totally drove off without me.

I haven't stepped on the scale yet to see the damage. I'm just not in the mood to answer to that number right now. Plus I'm trying not to let that number make or break my confidence.

I should have a degree in paperback nutritional studies

My momentum is slagging today, and I wish I was on a mission to reclaim it. I kind of am, but apathy is winning. I broke out some old favorite diet books to hopefully inspire me. They inspired a few pictures, but nothing yet. There are a couple that will get a good flip through today though - particularly The Eat Clean diet. I'm getting a good dose of fitspiration on Instagram these days too. I love me some transformation Tuesday pics.

The splurging isn't the only thing that's throwing me off. I started physical therapy for my knees last week. Which means I'm in the "worse before it gets better" zone. Last week at this time, I was a woman on a mission. I was pushing myself hard despite my doctor telling me to back off the high impact stuff. I guess I was getting my last kicks in before PT. I even waited a full week to schedule my first appointment. I got a nice run/walk/fun-in-the-park day in, a Stroller Strides class, and a few JMBR sessions knocked out.

But then I had my PT appointment last Thursday. If you've never had to experience it, the first session is a big game of "Does it hurt when I do this?" and it sucks. You leave sore and questioning if it was a good idea to seek medical intervention in the first place. The therapist is always nice, but you kind of hate them for poking you and testing the limits of the area that already hurts the most.

Help me, Tosca!

So I left my appointment with a little paper of an evolved Ikea guy doing some knee exercises. I'm supposed to do 3 sets of 6 different moves 2-3 times a day. It' takes around 15 minutes to go through them all (plus a couple planks and sit ups...I'm already on the floor, why not?), so it's not that big of a deal...but 3 times a day?! Yikes. I'm going to need some vacation days to get this all done.

These moves are designed to strengthen the little muscles that hold my kneecap in place. Right now, my kneecap is rubbing against my bone (yeah, gross) instead of floating merrily because these little muscles aren't built up. Apparently that's what 9 months as a giant pregnant woman and a year of eating take out will do to your legs. The exercises seem innocuous enough: leg lifts, side leg lifts, leg extensions (all unweighted, mind you). Really basic stuff.

Really basic stuff that is kicking my ass. er. knees. whatever.

I am shocked...SHOCKED...at how weak my legs are. Even though I've been keeping up with Jillian Micheals, my first rounds of home workouts have been torture. I work to failure every time. Without weights. Yes, without weights. I can't even believe it. It takes starting at zero to a whole new level.

Plus now I'm sore. Which seems impossible. It's a hit to my confidence. Even though it really shouldn't be. I know my knees need rehab. I know it will get me in shape to get in better shape. I know it's something I HAVE to do. But for some reason, it's totally putting me into the dumps.

I'm sure I'll get over it. But for now, this body frustration/betrayal is making me focus on food. I've not been very clean with my eating. I'm trying out a new tracker and hopefully it will give me the wake up call I apparently STILL haven't answered (even though they keep calling and calling).

So off I go to hit the books! Any great books that have really spoken to you?

Progress, Hope, and Healing

Progress update! It's finally spring...and I love love love this time of year. It is the season of hope and possibility. It hangs in the air as a warmth right below the chill. It bursts from the trees as cheerful flowers and expectant green buds. Every time I open the door to a bright spring day, I can't help but smile and stand a little taller. Every day feels like it could be the best day.

I'm healing emotionally - I've faced down the 1 year anniversary of my father's death. I'm making big strides in getting over the trauma of Baby Drama's medical drama. Even though I still feel like I'm going to get hit by a car if my day is too good, I'm making progress.  I have so very much to be thankful for right now and in the immediate future that I'm tired of shedding tears over the past. So now it's all about moving on, and moving on strong.
(and apparently with lots of italics for emphasis!)

I'm sticking with Jillian Michaels Body Revolution, and I'm loving it. While I'm not sticking to the schedule 100%, I'm am dedicated to the program. I'm on week 5 (but have been doing it for about 6 weeks...delays. And I'm OK with it) which means I'm officially in Phase 2. It's more intense, but nothing the program doesn't prep you for. The Weeks 5/6 workouts are super hard in the moment. I've had to stop to let my arms/legs/booty/ stop shaking or to catch my breath. But before the cool down is even over, endorphins kick in and you think "that was IT? pfshhh". And you feel strong, powerful, and ass-kicking...until you're about to hit play the next day. That fear kicks in. But it's sooo good.

Boo-Yah!!! I'll  get a real #flexbreak someday

My April weight loss was just below my 5 pound standard. But I hit somewhere around 4 pounds. Better yet, my pants are literally falling off my ass. I even have to return some brand new pants because they're not going to fit next week...if I stay on track, of course. I should probably do some measurements, but it ends up being another thing to obsess over. I'm already play that terrible "how 'bout now?" game with the scale too much.

can't pick up toys...knees hurt too much

My knees are threatening to throw me off course. After a couple of good running experiences, my knees were screaming. I went to see an orthopedist to get some help. My primary care doc sounded super concerned when she heard the jiffy pop sound my knees make (even in perfect squat form), so my imagination was running wild. I half expected him to say "you're gonna need a knee replacement" with a pity shake of his head - which I would read to mean "You're hauling too much heft on those hinges. This could've been prevented if you had just put down the fork"

Good thing none of that happened.

Basically, nothing is too wrong. Some early symptoms of arthritis (the snap-crackle-pop) but no physical evidence. The muscles around my knees are struggling though, and that makes for some painful runs. He said to lay off the high impact stuff, and hit the recumbent bike instead of running for a couple months. I got sentenced to some physical therapy. Which is no big deal to me. I'm still planning to continue JMBR, but  with some lower impact modifications. I have been on a run since then, and it was an amazing experience (post coming on that soon...it's an emotional one for me to write). I'm finding the Ice + Advil makes a big difference so far. But PT starts TODAY!

I'm looking forward to getting myself fixed up so I can keep working on being the strongest/healthiest/fittest/foxiest lady I can be.

Are you?

I Celebrated with Food, and That Was Wrong

It's been a tough few weeks for me emotionally. Last week was the anniversary of my Dad's death, my wedding anniversary, and the first time we left Baby Drama for a night. We went to Cape May NJ for one night. It was nice to get away and have some time alone. But it was kind of anxiety-ridden too. We managed to have a nice time. Since it was a Monday night, and an off-season one at that, we had the island to ourselves. We stayed at Congress Hall - a grand old hotel updated for the times. It was exactly our style. We LOVE the feel of these kinds of hotels. Historic and old, but updated to posh and comfortable levels.

I tried to ditch my typical head-to-toe black wardrobe. Since I haven't been working full time in marketing close to NYC (our uniform? All black, funky glasses, iphone glued firmly to hand) I've been trying to wear more color. I may have accidentally taken it too far. Must practice more I guess. I totally matched the room decor. It was embarrassing.

1 Day in Cape May NJ. When you go on an off-season weeknight, you get the best room in the house! I inadvertently dressed to match the decor. For a girl who wears all black almost exclusively, this was a strange occurrence indeed

Plus, I only brought clothes in shades of teal. I love teal, but I think I over did it. Should've went with coral nails at least, don't ya think?

Anyway, this whole month has been a rollercoaster. I'm so grateful to have the best husband around. Mr. Drama has been super supportive and patient on so many levels. He's given me plenty of pulling-the-covers-over-my-head time. But also has kicked my ass into eating well and working out. I feel like he has a secret schedule in mind, and he knows when to indulge me and when to say "get outta here! You're not getting a keg cup full of ice cream" (that was at Costco, btw. My argument that it's actually frozen yogurt didn't fly).

Thanks to him and the continual pre-recorded ass-kicking I get from Jillian Michaels every day, I was feeling and looking pretty good. I got my toes all prettied up for summer, broke out a new pair of sandals, and was enjoying my flattening tummy so much I snapped some pics. 

I'm so happy I could eat a pizza. Wait, what?

Even though Mr. Drama is taking me to task, I still managed to fling myself off the wagon. I was really happy with my progress. I took some progress pictures* too, and can see differences. My pants are sliding down my ass on the regular, and I feel (felt?) great.
*yes, I'm too wussy to share those right now. maybe in a few weeks you can see how gross I was.

I was feeling SO good, I wanted to celebrate. In hindsight, maybe I wasn't feeling so great due to all the other emo drama. Regardless of the motivation, my action was to celebrate with food.

WTF, self? Didn't you just go MONTHS convincing yourself that this kind of activity is massively counter productive?

Anyway. I indulged in buffalo wing pizza. Yep. Two terrible foods combined to make one deliciously diet-bustingly-evil dinner. Then popcorn. Enough salt and butter to make my rings tight the next day. SHAMEFUL.

One bright spot? I didn't devour the entire bowl of popcorn. In fact, I barely finished half. Still sounds shameful, but it's a BIG non-scale victory for me. For awhile there I was drowning my sorrows in buttery deliciousness 2-4 times a WEEK.So it could be worse.

This is a sign that I'm changing. My new habits are slowly but surely setting themselves into place. I felt like I was forcing the popcorn-fest because that's what I do. But my body disagreed with my head this time. It didn't want all that popcorn moving back in.  Happiness doesn't come from food right now. My body has changed the locks.

Yes, popcorn, I think we're breaking up. I mean, we'll have some fun now and then...a few movies, maybe we can watch the Breaking Bad premiere together (when it finally comes back). But these booty-fattening-calls are stopping here.

The food-based celebrations and pity parties are stopping too. Walking the empty streets of Cape May with my husband, even if for a short time, was a good enough celebration for me. Sure, we ate (and drank...) but being together was more fulfilling than any meal.

I realize that if I want to have more and more fulfilling moments with the ones I love most, my health has to be a priority. So I acknowledge and accept that I was wrong to stuff my face full of feelings. And now I'm moving on...

Sick & Social (aka Follow Me)

I'm still sick, so I have little to blog about today. I have a major sinus infection and the antibiotics are wiping me out. My sense of taste is 50% back, smell is at about 30% (avoid Afrin if you can!). Both Baby Drama and Doggy Drama are sick of me leaning in and huffing them to test my sniffer - I miss their smells so much!  So today I'm working from the couch, spending time reading blogs, attempting to avoid shopping online, and doing some Diet Drama housekeeping...er...shameless plugging.

Follow Along as I Stumble Along....
I'm a media addict. There. I said it. That means I'm on most of the social sites. I'm finally set up as Diet Drama on most places (not as my personal account...trust me, you'd be overloaded on Baby Drama pics quick-quick). Any other places I *should* be? Leave me a note in the comments!

Diet Drama on Facebook
Like me! Like me! I promo my new posts here, as well as other fun stuff that doesn't make it to the blog.

 

Diet Drama on Instagram
I finally just started a second account for Diet Drama. So you'll be spared 5,000 pictures of my baby and dog with cool filters. I will not stop posting pictures of my food porn (you'll just get an earlier look at some recipes I'm working on)

Diet Drama on Pinterest
Obsessed with Pinterest. If you're not familiar, get on it! It's so simple I can't believe no one thought of it sooner. The basic premise: Like it? Keep it for later.  Share it. Create a vision board of your tastes. I pin food, food, clothes, shoes, food....ya know, the same thing everyone else pins.

Diet Drama on Bloglovin'

I heart Bloglovin' lately. I finally embraced it as my main blog aggregate so I never miss a post from my faves. Should I follow you? Leave me a comment and I will!

Diet Drama on Twitter
Yep - still on Twitter. It's not my main social squeeze, but I can't find it in my heart to break up with it. There are some amazing people on there. Are you one? Tell me in the comments!

Vote for Diet Drama on Top Mommy Blogs
Diet Drama is currently #12 for Health & Fitness blogs. Just click this baby once (or the one on the right side) and help me get up there! You'll find some ah.maze.ing. blogs and writers through this site too!