The Psychology of Bangs

^ Loves The New Girl too. Big Schmidt fan

2013 is officially the year of bangs. Now Michelle Obama has even joined the trend, making it not just official, but presidential.  Federal. I've been officially banged (hehe) for a few months already. It occurred to me that I'm hiding under them instead of using them to maximize my fabulosity.

A few months back, I needed a change. Something fresh. Something invigorating. Something that would help my confidence quickly. I wanted instant gratification.



It was time to change my hair. Five Guys must have been closed.

I have been growing my hair for awhile. First it was because I wanted to. The style was heading way long or way short, so I went way long. Then it was because I started prenatal vitamins to get knocked up and my hair exploded! It got long very quickly. And continued to grow throughout my pregnancy. Right after I had Baby Drama, I was loving it. It was still full from all the hormones, and it made me feel like some goddess, earth mother, giver of life and all that. Hormones. And percocet.

Think the First Lady feels as tired as I look?

Every few months, I get the urge to cut it. But my body feels soft and flabby, so I don't want to lose my curtain. I have this idea in my head that if I cut my hair, I'll look 10 lbs heavier. It goes back to a classmate getting a bad haircut in junior high school. She was gorgeous, then instantly, she lost her mystique. She looked heavier - not fat, but heavier. Looking back, she probably simultaneously sprouted boobs and my adolescent mind didn't process such information with empathy.

I couldn't bring myself to chop my hair. So I chopped part of it. I asked for the bangs I'm seeing everywhere on TV. The entire cast of that new show Ben & Kate has fabulous, effortless, casually cool bangs. Now I did too.

I loved them at first. But now, I feel like I'm totally hiding. And if I don't get all dolled up, the indie-cool effect is totally lost. I just look unironically shaggy and ugly. Making me basically invisible to the general public.

But I keep wondering - is it on purpose? Your outward appearance is a reflection of how you feel inside, right? These days I'm not feeling wonderous on the inside.  I'm still in mid holiday funk. In our family, we're all winter babies. Me, my hubs, baby girl...even my 2 brothers, mother-in-law and brother-in-law. So our big holiday push really lasts until Valentine's day.

Because of that, I'm missing my Dad (who passed in April) a lot lately. I get suddenly weepy over the strangest things. I thought I'd be stronger by now, but clearly I'm not. Now that I'm fighting against eating emotionally, so I have to actually feel everything now. Up until about a month ago, I'd just eat those feelings with a side of 2 hours on the couch with a terrible rom-com.

Since I'm moving my body more, and not snacking the night away,  my feelings are much more accessible and bubbling up. I think its healthier to face this all head on instead of chowing down and committing myself to the same fate as my Dad. The idea is to overcome this, live a better life, and enjoy every minute. I'll always miss my Dad, just getting used to the fact that he's gone and won't be a part of all these great things is hard to deal with.

But it's reality, and I have to accept it in order not to be held back. My weight and moaning about my weight has held me back long enough. If these bangs are holding me back too, they're going to have to go . I think I might have to buck the trend and go ahead and grow them out. Sorry Mrs. Obama. You rock the bangs, I'm going to stop hiding.